The tarot card i picked on the way back told me 'Rise', which means as much as dealing with the past, rounding off a phase in your life, or feeling reborn. Of course tarot cards can mean whatever you want them to mean, a lot of the time, but the way i was feeling then, it was bang on the money...My holiday to England, which was supposed to last 5 days, only lasted 2, due to unforeseen circumstances (my friend P. getting ill) and i felt upset for about exactly 4 seconds, after which a feeling of acceptance kicked in, an 'oh well... it wasn't meant to happen'. If anybody had told me this beforehand, i would've declared them insane. But i don't...
The day and a half the we were in England, we both enjoyed the landscape and the company of my friend Sarah, we tasted the briny sea and fish & chips dinner, we were amazed at the readiness of the Brits we asked to help and the ease they appeared to accept my doddery driving (which would've been severely punished back in Holland) and we both loved being in Hastings and Brighton, but - and i have no idea how P. feels - i never felt at home... Although incredibly recognisable and familiar, i felt the opposite of the way i used to when i lived in England. And it made me feel very sad... It feels like i've 'outgrown' England, like i don't belong there any more, not like i used to when i first went there, nearly twenty years ago. And P. getting sick and wishing to go home, felt like a sign from above, to finally move on...
American films and series like Friends keep banging on about 'closure', as a term to indicate moving on from a period in your life or a relationship that's gone sour, and with this blog i would like to do the same - do closure on my life in England, not hang on to the past, my past life there, any more, and fully accept that i live here, my life is here...
After ten years...
Still, the photo's are pretty though...
- Hastings Old Town and the beach -
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